Oil on wood panel. From the Tangible series.

W 61 x H 46 cm.

Oil on wood panel. From the Tangible series.

W 46 x H 61 cm.

Oil on wood panel.

W 46 x H 61 cm.

Oil on wood panel. From the Home series.

W 46 x H 61 cm

Oil on wood panel. From the Home series.

W 61 x H 46 x D 2.2 cm

Oil on canvas. W 70 x H 100 cm.

Oil on wood panel. W 61 x H 91 cm.

Boringly magical the illusion how quantum I scrape down all after the forms of flowers and grass on the trees how the sound is light in the ears where is end and the outside flows the illusionary magical garden in the song I have sat down in the stop this boring incredibility where this not anymore the boundaries ... there is, there is ... there is

Oil and drill on wood panel. W 70 x H 50 x D 3.9 cm.

Space(time) is the most fundamental building block of our perception and consciousness. It is the trickiest basic automatic process that shapes our reality. Space is the fundamental stuff that is out there, this is our “experience”, being in this big space (big rectangular space :-))) that is everywhere. But since ever we found holes in this seeming triviality, holes that were drilled by Kant when he put space and time from outside into the inside as the most basic tools of consciousness, or by Riemann and Einstein when they realised spacetime and its geometry are subject to the same dynamical processes as a moving object or electricity, and since then both in science, philosophy and in our experience space and time became more discrete and co-created. We got to the point such that we are not so much inside in an external space, but we are ourselves spaces that grow and determine how we see and perceive and experience. We are ourselves holes drilled through this fabric of spacetime that is the very constituent of our being...we are ourselves holes through ourselves and space is created by this drilling!

Oil on wood panel. W 70 x H 50 x D 3.9 cm. In my next attempt to turn down some automatic consciousness knobs, i ran into a total defeat. I worked on this painting in my head for many days, all the time coming up with very specific ways of what to do and how. So although i started off with concentrating heavily on how to get under the skin of form, tones, colours and automatic patterns, i was lost exactly the early moment when i made those circular palette knife movements in the middle :-) at that moment the form of the body was centred and laid out. I tried to counteract with putting a seemingly context free simple black line leading away from the nude form, but this counterattack failed miserably again when it turned back into a rectangular form, and at this moment i realised i paint Velázquez’ Rokeby Venus. It was a huge defeat. I tried one more step to overwrite this subconscious plan execution with textured stripes vertically flowing down and eventually overflowing or washing away the human form...but they could not touch the form...I desperately tried the approximation but at that moment another process in me put me in a state where I have built up an emotional relationship with the forms already in place, so my feelings were taken over and didn’t let me touch or reach the form and the centre composition with any vertical structures. It was a defeat again in falling prey to my very processes that were being executed in me since days without noticing where do all these lead....:-) next time .

Oil on board panel. From the Chitta Vritti Nirodha series

W 50 x H 70 x D 3.9 cm

Divine love.

Oil on gesso board panel. W 61 x H 46 x D 2.2 cm

Laugh or cry?!

Oil on canvas.

W 70 x H 100 cm

Oil on gesso board panel. W 46 x H 61 x D 2.2 cm.

This is a painting about a life-size, glazed terracotta sculpture of a seated figure representing a Luóhàn, which is a Chinese term for an arhat, one of the historical disciples of the Buddha. As Buddhist tradition developed, the most important were regarded as almost bodhisattvas or fully enlightened beings, with a range of supernatural powers. This sculpture of Luohan shows him seated with his hands on his lap, wearing a monk’s robes of green and brown is one of a set of 8 to 10 life-size Luohans made during the Liao dynasty (907–1125) which were discovered near caves, south of Beijing, in 1912. They reached the international art market and were bought for Western collections. The circumstances of the find and the details of how these figures entered the global art market have not been clarified.

I am the number to call, I am the direct connection, I am the code combination to open the safe, I am the safe that holds the secret, I am the secret that is hidden in the safe, I am calling to make the connection, I am the call itself, I am the one who to find out the space where the safe is, I am the one who put the phone there in the first place, I am the one who waits for a call, and the one who calls. I have already made my choices, now everything happens only to understand what those choices were and everywhere I look, I see what I am looking for.

Under the onion moon mirror and deep inside a space of green gravity the mind is stretched, bent and pulled. This is entering the jhanas. Having been one, you become many; having been many, you become one; you appear and vanish; you go unhindered through a wall, through a rampart, through a mountain as though through space; you dive in and out of the earth as though it were water; you walk on water without sinking as though it were earth; seated cross-legged, you travel in space like a bird; with your hand you touch and stroke the moon and sun so powerful and mighty.

In front of a green wall hangs a golden chandelier out of thin air, filled with real candles. A shy deer happens to appear and is mesmerised by the luminous phenomena, mirroring back the golden light in the shadow of a purple tree. The tree watches how this unlikely situation catches fire in the museum visitor’s mind. The shadows are contoured by red and Mandelbrot was living between 20 November 1924 and 14 October 2010. The red panel is for switching the lights up in case you fancy for a wake up my deer...

It is morning, it started. The peach is ready to become ripe. Everything is aligned and ready. Having a hearty breakfast to have energy and momentum. The living room is transformed, water is filling the pool. A silent candle on the table, brother’s, father’s helping hands. It is straightforward and smooth, silently magnificent. Watching a process enfolding that has been matured in millions of years. It takes everyone of us into the big whirl, the head is appearing, crescendo vivace, the first breath and taking in the arms. It is arriving. It’s 4:33pm. Welcome for a while...

I was sitting with you for hours. Without technique, without expectation, anticipation. After not having seen each other for a long long time. Waves of love and deep intimacy were washing the shores of boundaries. Out of nothing you came, yet with the firmness of a whistling arrow. Yes, you activate all that’s necessary, read the small sized disclaimer - Yes I’m sure to go ahead, yes, it’s irreversible. Peace and love and being at home. We sit in silence for hours, without common language. And yet when I look into your eyes, it is remembering the last 900 years.

Every question is a statement. A braking of silent experiencing. An attempt to control the flow when it steps out of comprehension. A grasping for structure and solidity. A yearning for repeating. Whatever I want, I already have it, otherwise how could I possibly come up with wanting it in the first place. Remember, whenever you ask a question, you know the answer very well, otherwise how could you possibly come up with the question in the first place?

Awareness is formless, non dual, complete and the ultimate remover of ignorance. Use this knowledge to cut through the veil of ignorance. Your true nature is light, without the need to explicitly search or “do” kriyas. Your intense search for attaining the state of samadhi has become the reason for your bondages and blockages. The entire existence is inside of you. Your heart and mind’s intention has caused the world around you. Be centered in your existence with full trust. Awareness is independent from fulfilment of desires, thirst to attain a particular state, lamenting, lust, birth and death. It is the pure witness of it all. You are independent, formless and ever silent. Whatever gets created, goes through the process of evolution before eventually merging into the formless. The body that you observe has many forms but your true nature is formless. This realisation is what takes you away from the cycles of birth and death. What appears as separate in all animate and inanimate objects is in fact singular — coherent, cohesive and complete. Keep focusing on your breath. Keep seeing yourself in other people — even if they don’t know it, you know it. Be blissful. Your anger and jealousy is burning the world around you. Love everyone. Be the love in this ever flowing river of energy.

In shamanic practice, soul retrieval is the most fundamental ceremony. Whenever we suffer physical or emotional trauma, part of our soul flees our spirit body in order to survive the experience. With every cut and wound, our essence and vitality grow weaker. This process is called “soul loss.” Soul loss is also known, in psychological terms, as dissociation. It’s what happens when we become disconnected from the very core of ourselves, the source of our vitality, our soul. Soul retrieval is the reintegration of the lost soul parts back into a person to create healing. In soul retrieval spirit animals and plant spirits (like the Dracocephalum Moldavica)  are of great help. They help to find the lost parts and show how to put them back into the big construction of the soul. This always manifests in additional newfound energies that are there to help to cultivate the healthy choices that support wholeness, confidence and (self) love. 

On Saturday evening, the red carpet dreams to break free from its greyness, carrying a beanbag for a majestic journey. The bean bag also fantasises about changing its neutral colour to a more vibrant frequency domain. Books are waiting in queue, to be the one, the special one, tonight. Who do you take tonight? In the glowing magnificence of the small kitchen stool, you know very well why you came into this world. It’s all about beauty...you told me once.

Now imagine roots coming out of your tailbone, going deep down to the earth, ramifying and connecting with all the trees around. You get all the nourishment and support from them, you are one of them. Now slowly move up to the chest area. Imagine that a small bubble or sphere is in your centre, growing and glowing until it surrounds you. It is the opening of anahata and prepare to get lost in your loving awareness. Who are you? When I don’t know who I am, I serve you, when I know who I am - I am you.

A most intimate meeting place, with sandalwood incense, a hot infusion of flower mix and medicinal plants. Candlelight. It’s early in the morning, the world is still sleeping. Discussing matters at heart, turning towards with trust and curiosity. Space and place to submerge and hold onto. Nothing remains hidden, layers of reality are dissected and dissolved, rearranged and recreated. Lavender, nettle and lemongrass oil. Dry brushing (garshana) with reverence. The morning meditation is still settling in. This is the ceremony, a naked devotion of gentle subtleness and love.   

How to overcome ourselves without leaving us behind? All transformation must follow a cyclic pattern. It starts  from planting the seeds, then immediately being lost in our innate impatience, in the illusion of nothing happens, “it doesn’t work”, “stop wasting time”. And yet, when the necessary background processes take place, the sprouts push through and arrive. The consequences of the seeds are there finally, first just in little nudges, little incidental external happenings. The patterns and the forces are processed subconsciously and start to build up an innate familiarity with the seemingly random course of events. All along it is in plain sight, in front of us, completely unhidden, yet we just look through it as some invisible air. “That doesn’t look anything to me”. It grows and keeps coming back to us, yet we don’t see it, we are busy with making it happening, while it is in epsilon distance away in front of us. It is cathartic when we are finally able to see our dinosaur creature, potentially with many unwanted characteristics attached. We then cut back and destroy, bow at the archonic altars of anger and disappointment, dipping once again in the river of unwholesomeness. We are floating in the fresh smell of barber wax after the cutting, while crushing in our palms the seeds of what comes next already.

Sartre believed that our encounters with other people constitute the primal circumstance of self-formation. Each of us is perpetually in the position of a voyeur who, while gazing upon the object of his lust, suddenly hears the sound of someone stepping up directly behind him. Again and again, we are thrust out of safety and seclusion of pure subjectivity by the knowledge that we have become objects in the world of others. We are conscious of others being conscious of us - a most fundamental state of mind and a fundamental building block of consciousness. I know nothing, but your name. I see nothing but your face. 

Emergence occurs when an entity is observed to have properties its parts do not have on their own. These properties or behaviors emerge only when the parts interact in a wider non trivial network. Networks are everywhere around us and in us. There are social networks, computer networks (internet), our brain and cell’s biological networks, gene regulatory networks, semantic networks, predatory networks in nature, networks of cities and companies etc. Networks facilitate a field, a self organising force that constitutes the very essence of all living. These networks are mostly scale free, that is a network whose degree distribution follows a power law, which means that the probability for a node to have k connections is roughly k^(-g) where g is a constant mostly between 1 and 4. Despite the many differences of these networks and their constituents on the surface, they are seemingly scaled versions of each other both in structure and dynamics. Ranging from questions of how many hours do we need to sleep, to how many times our hearts beat in a lifetime, to developments and life cycles of cities and companies, or dynamics of biological predatory networks, or how memes are spreading on social networks, these are all governed by scale free network phenomena dancing to the same simple tune, however diverse and unrelated they may seem. 

In dynamical systems theory an attractor represents a state toward which a system tends to evolve. Even if starting with different initial conditions, under certain circumstances, we find the same pattern emerging. Moreover, even if the system is perturbed close to an attractor, it stabilises and remains close to it. Dynamical systems in reality mostly arise from some dissipative process and if it were not for some driving force, the system would cease to move. The driving force and the dissipation balances out each other and settles the system into the attractor. When Nature wants something, charm is applied and transforming formless into form follows the attractors of morphogenetic/morphic fields. These fields are like invisible forces around beings and happenings, driving the dynamics to very special attractors. Our higher self is the main driving force, our main source of momentum. Our attachments to the world on the other hand generate dissipative processes. It is the most charming melody created by these two sides that we are constantly listening to, in solitude and every day. The morphogenetic fields are self organising and contain other morphic fields within them in a nested hierarchy. They contain a built-in memory given by self-resonance with its own past. This memory is cumulative. It is built around catchy, charming melodies of attractors, that pull our self organising power into certain directions, to people and relationships, fateful encounters. While we are listening to it over and over again, as it is practiced, we become more sophisticated and elegant in identifying unity and sameness.

Tucked away in the Andean slopes of Ecuador, lies the quiet and picturesque village of Vilcabamba. Known to many as the ‘Valley of Longevity’, Vilcabamba has a reputation for being home to one of the highest concentrations of exceptionally old people, including numerous centenarians and a number of residents apparently reaching 140 years. The name ‘Vilcabamba’ derives from the indigenous Quichua “huilco pamba”, meaning Sacred Valley. Originally a retreat for Inca rulers, it also became known as the ‘Playground of the Inca’. Inca royals travelled to the valley to renew and refresh their health, and it’s no wonder they chose Vilcabamba as their destination – the area is blessed with pristine water, pure air, rich soil, and a permanent spring-like climate, where fruits, vegetables, and medicinal plants thrive all year round. In 1973, Dr Alexander Leaf of Harvard Medical School drew international attention to Vilcabamba following a cover story for National Geographic Magazine about the residents’ longevity. What is the secret of a long life? All mammals have approximately one billion heartbeats per lifetime. They can use them at a rate of a thousand per minute, like the shrew, or space them out into slow, ponderous beats, over many years, as is the case for the grey whale. This portrait is a dedication for the energies of an imagined citizen of this paradise, honouring the one billion heart rate, the earth, the plants, and mountains. May we all be at home in our most innate  Vilcabamba. 

The pyramid of beings and creatures is mostly depicted and understood to be ending with the human. However scale free phenomena suggests this pyramid cannot end there. There are more subtle layers on top whose creatures must be fed off of our energetic processes. These non-physical beings, something like being between humans and transcendent pure consciousnesses are called Archons, the masters of the universe. There is a huge amount of dualistic interpretation of Archons as demons possessing humans, as evil entities, mostly originating from gnosticism, but I look at these interpretations misshaped by our fears and not being able to face levels of reality. The universe works in a sort of balance, a self-regulating organism in perfect harmony. Anything that tries to disturb that balance, is immediately attacked by the antibodies of the universe, the Archons. We bow at the altars of these resistance powers on a daily basis, as a matter of fact these forces have bigger camps than any human created institution. While we eat apples and burgers, archons bite in our fear, anger, doubt, substance abuse etc. Don Juan, Carlos Castaneda’s teacher, revealed his final teaching to Carlos after many other profound lessons detailed in the books. Don Juan told him that all the other lessons he’d been teaching him so far was just a preparation, just “beating around the bush”. But the piece of knowledge that he was about to reveal was by far the most important. In this final teaching Don Juan revealed the fact that humans “have a companion for life”. Humans didn’t ask for that companion, yet it attached itself to humanity because it identified humans as a perfect food source. The reason we are their perfect food source is because according to Don Juan, unlike the awareness energy being within, humans have it outside of their bodies. This makes them an easy prey. Throughout thousands of years, the shadowy beings sucked out so much energy from humans that they lost all supernatural powers and are merely shells of what they used to be. 

It was after the long holiday on the island. Being back at the city, the illusion of importance and rushing, all the unquestioned over complicatedness. It was an invite for ‘The meditative mind’s lunch’.  He started to tell the usual story, secular upbringing, pragmatism, but psychedelics and ‘strange’ events of life bringing up something deeper. Moving energy inwards and upwards, the path and those certain experiences. I asked what experiences, as in Monty Python, a what, A WHAT STRUGGLE? Eyes were crossed, third eye was buzzing. After that I decided to talk about MY experience, my waking up, and my path. Strange. “You must meet him.” Strange, almost certain to have come here for this. Never went again. I sat together with the yogi. In peace. Those who are on the Kundalini path will all meet together. There shall be no doubt about it. 

The layers of our consciousness have celestial scale. We tend to be very biased by the scale determined by our senses operating in the normal waking state of mind. But our senses are not objective, information transmitting channels, but rather part of the fractal processes of the reality shaping mind. The mind consists of layers of processes, interwoven in intricate relationships, each layer forming a full reality on its own. These layers are built upon each other, but not in a linear, hierarchical fashion. Some layers build up remnants of outputs of other layers, some layers are scraping off the reality of others, yet another layer maintains and smooths out some other. These processes and layers are like little programs in our being, demanding me-time and devotion, even if without attention. On the contrary, attention is mostly put to sleep or autopilot mode in order these processes to take place without resistance. Imagine the wall of a hundred years old building, scraped back the many layers of paint, and decoration, mixing together the special characteristics of the different times that determined the exact outlook of the wall. It is the self referential turning onto itself of an irreversible process, we perceive as the pass of time. Only if we could hold this process at once in our awareness, we would be able to sense the geometric structure of this fresco. In this process revealing hidden layers can serve the purpose of hiding some other layers. The ego is what we identify ourselves with. That is the major resistance of consciousness that builds up momentum and gives form to an unbounded spectrum of energy. Momentum is built up in these layers by creating, destructing and maintaining each other until the friction incites a burning fire. The fire that burns away ego, again and again.

There is a most innate longing in me for the most basic form that I saw in one of my visions. There is a master spirit for this form, whose look has a magnetic charm, calling and explaining, with a perceived obsession about perfection. The form is a long arc, in structure it is like a bony crest, similar to the Parasaurolophus’ nose, such that when air is pushed through it, it makes sounds like a woodwind instrument. The sound it gives has a very special resonance. It is an amplification that occurs when the frequency of a periodically applied force is in harmonic proportion to a natural frequency of the medium on which it acts. Its periodicity comes in well timed nudges, that inspire and call for transformation. All these movements are following a natural harmony, a very special number, like the number of the full set of movements in olympic swimming, so that energy waste is minimised and there aren’t any missteps. This resonance is what is played by the most basic form, the effortless magnification of our consciousness, a single frequency that lies hidden in a huge manifold of processes and yearnings. This frequency is well guarded by forces and manifestations that are unique to our own mind. These forces are also manifested as fundamental forces or creatures of nature (spirit animals) and their assignment to us is again a manifestation of this resonant phenomena. When an oscillating force is applied at the resonant frequency of another system, the system will oscillate at a higher amplitude than when the same force is applied at other, non-resonant frequencies. Our higher self emerges on the tip of this resonant frequency and it needs much alchemy to bear this amplitude.

An hommage to families, wives and sons and daughters and fathers and husbands, the most direct spiritual contracts. To an absolutely amazing journey, high frequency energies and waking up on the stage. Bringing souls into karma, binding and giving space to grow. It is the deepest root of self definition, an unavoidable force. A complicated system of mirror projections. Richest source of traumas and addressing the most burning shortcomings. Attachments that are lasting through many, many, many lifetimes. Alliances and teachings, layers upon layers, tragedy upon tragedy. It is messy and full of heaviness. Patterns repeating themselves through generations. Connecting in the most unexpected ways. Always surfacing something and always boiling something in the deep. I imagine to sit silently with all my family, just for a couple of minutes, with closed eyes, in one big common presence, to glimpse our true nature of reality, without words and meanings and serious attachments. I imagine how we look like in reality.